FML

[perrinoia]

I'm sure some of you are wondering if I died and forgot to respawn. Here's what I've been up to:

Last may, I was fed up with my manager who blamed me for a 10k billing error that predated my employment and I was venting to a friend who had just lost both of his parents and inherited a couple mil.

He convinced me to quit my job and be his private yacht captain. I knew his job offer wasn't going to last because he's an idiot, but it sounded like a fun adventure. We'll call him Kyle because he is the epitome of the meme, and that's actually his name.

Right away it was awful. Kyle demanded I only give 1 week notice cause he had to move the boat 1 week after buying his 2/3 mil yacht. Purchasing the yacht ended up taking 2 weeks anyway, and I had to hide from my former employers for a week since I had told them I'd be in Florida and they were mad at me. Then he started talking about using the yacht commercially and wouldn't listen to me regarding the legalities. He specifically wanted to give tours to brides maids, to which I said he couldn't be on the boat due to his inappropriate behaviour around women. Of course, he only wanted to cater to brides maids so he could fuck them, so he didn't wanna hear that. He got denied for a loan, so he bought the boat in cash. $680,000 upfront. Got the damn thing as is, no warranties. Then he shipped my ass to Florida and gave me a 90 item list of shit to fix, a budget of $5k, and a deadline of 1 week. The first thing on the list cost $3k and takes 3 weeks just to get the part from Italy. Also, I'm not a fucking mechanic. I knew how to fix like 10% of the items on the list.

5 days after I got to Florida, this prick gets impatient, convinces his parole officer to let him off the hook two days early (i didn't know it worked that way) and shows up with a stewardess from the TV show below deck demanding that we leave the shipyard "ASAP!" (his favorite thing to say besides "GET IN THE VAN!").

The stew lasted less than 24 hours, as she decided to skip town at the first stop in search of a long lost drug dealer (allegedly). Meanwhile Kyle wouldn't let me sleep because he was entertaining 2 girls, and by entertaining, I mean he consistently ignored the phrases, "We have boyfriends" and "We aren't sluts/whores/etc" while offering adderall to anyone who yawned.

The next morning, I refused to drive the boat as I hadn't been allowed to sleep and refused to consume prescription medication that was not prescribed to me. I booked another night at the marina and slept peacefully all night.

On the third morning, I suggested we wait another day as the seas were rough and advised against traveling the calmer intracoastal waterway, as it would take me hours to study charts I didn't even have and besides, Kyle was too impatient to wait for draw bridges and would go crazy. I explained that we could go 250 miles up the coast prett day if we went outside, or 50 miles up the coast if we went inside. We argued, he didn't listen, so I agreed to try the intracoastal waterway.

Kyle clearly had decided he didn't enjoy being told no by his employee, so he took it upon himself to learn how to operate his own boat. I suspect he planned on firing me as soon as he was comfortable operating the vessel on his own and I was ok with that thought as I was thoroughly annoyed with Kyle being a Kyle at this point. However when you're attempting to navigate a narrow dredged channel in a shallow body of water, you really need to keep an eye on your GPS, and Kyle kept fucking with it. I repeatedly told him to stop until he got annoyed and went inside. I thought he had gone inside to take a nap but then i noticed the GPS was being manipulated from the other helm. I yelled at him, and he came back up to the fly bridge denying everything.

Next thing I know, the depth sounder read 3 ft while the GPS said we should have 10 ft, so I stopped the boat and realized we were stuck. The GPS was no longer centered on the vessel as SOMEONE wanted to scroll ahead to see where we were going.

We had to get towed out and I strongly recommended getting hauled out for inspection/repairs but Kyle insisted we keep on trucking. I explained how the lowest parts of this boat were the propellers, and therefore they were likely fucked, but he insisted it was fine cause it was only sand. The tow guy agreed with me but Kyle didn't give a fuck.

At this point, I was ready to quit, but hoping to get fired so he'd legally have to fly me home, however, he didn't pay for the stewardess's flight home, stranding her in palm beach, so I knew my only chance in getting home for free was to drive this wobbly boat home. So we wobbled to port Canaveral where he found a 19 year old blonde with braces who was naive enough to believe his bullshit about how if she quit her job he'd support her, etc...

I told him the wobble was very bad. I tried to convince him to at least hire a diver to check the props, but he demanded we take advantage of the calm weather on day 4 and go outside to St. Augustine. So I strapped everything down and we headed out. The ride actually got smoother the faster we went, so we went fast until it sounded like a metal head stuck in a metal lathe. I put the engines in neutral and checked the engine room. The port (left) engine had broken all four mounts and slid forward 2 inches. Had it slid forward 3 inches, it would have fallen off of the mounts and put a hole in the bottom of the boat the size of a smart car. Instead, it just meant that the axle had slid forward until the prop grinded against the strut and the shaft seal opened up pouring water into the boat at a rate that the bilge pump barely kept up with.

At this point, I thought this story was coming to an end as I handed Kyle a lifejacket and called the coast guard. The coast guard arrived and escorted us to a shipyard that was ready to haul us out at 9 PM on the Saturday before memorial day. Kyle argued with the manager of the boatyard and the coast guard about whether or not his boat should be hauled out before Tuesday. His most compelling argument was that you can't bring chicks back to a boat in a parking lot. Their most convincing argument was that you can't bring chicks back to a sunken boat unless they have gills.

I spent the better part of a week trying to clean up the mess, prep the boat for workers, deal with insurance, etc... I got the ball rolling on repairs, so Kyle and I flew home. I told him he didn't have to pay me anymore, I'd go find another job, but he insisted that he needed my help around the house. He consistently bragged that I was the highest paid landscaper on the island while in actuality, he stopped paying me the day we ran aground.

After a few weeks of me spiraling into debt while failing to do anything right (I'm not a fucking landscaper. I don't know the difference between a weed and an ugly flower his late mother planted) he decided we needed a vacation. He flew us both to block island and proceeded to act like the biggest douche on the planet. Then he got into an argument with a friend of his who owns a sandal shop about whether or not he was rude to the clerk at the sandal shop and fired me for not taking his side.

So I go to the YMCA and pick up as many substitute lifeguard shifts as I can, then had a meeting with my previous employers about coming back to work for them.
The meeting didn't go as well as I had hoped. The manager and I definitely don't see eye to eye on why I quit in the first place and he sees me as a rogue employee who doesn't follow instructions and might quit at a moment's notice, rather than someone he falsely accused of a ten thousand dollar billing error despite the obvious evidence that the billing error predated my employment and the fact that i don't work in the fucking billing department.

So now I'm back to my old job, but I'm getting the shittiest shifts, making considerably less money than before, and many of my coworkers are complaining that noobies are getting scheduled for shifts they can't handle while I'm scheduled to work the most monotonous shifts which frequently get cut short due to bad weather or lack of customers.

By the way, my first day back, I broke the company record for largest deposit, and eight days later, I broke that record again. Clearly the company profits when I'm at the wheel, but my boss has a hair up his ass and wants to punish me by scheduling me as a fucking tour guide. Also, I slept through every history class I've ever been forced to take. I'm an awful tour guide.

[DaRk]

You should start a blog. Maybe start a middle-aged man blog site. http://www.mommyblog.com needs some competition. We can all complain about being old, millennials, generation z, hemorrhoids, etc

[S_hift]

You should start a blog. Maybe start a middle-aged man blog site. http://www.mommyblog.com needs some competition. We can all complain about being old, millennials, generation z, hemorrhoids, etc

This Perrin were talking about not kilroy. He told us the whole story not his entire life story and some light peddling of time Warner or w.e

Sent from my SM-J260A using Tapatalk

[KILROY]

Sorry been tied up settling a legal battle with Yahoo. They have to pay out over $117 million on this one for people getting their information hacked by not securing their services they offer online to the consumer per what their terms and services relay to the consumer before using them. and Federal Offenses that were broken in this issue.

The other issue which Death666 knows about via our PM chat's...is I just caught Google using their own services to sell email addresses to third party spammers to spam people using GMail. How were they doing this? All those backup email addresses or phone numbers that Google was requesting from someone to add to their accounts. Once that information was added, Google would load a search/scan bot to not only that person's email account, but also the listed backup phone number they relayed. This bot would scan the email address book of all the accounts listed, and it would then load search/scan bot on "ALL" other accounts. It would also do this via the listed phone books on "EACH" phone number it picked up. It would continue to do this per "EACH" phone number and "EACH" email address is would find during it's search/scan. Google and Yahoo was selling this information to third parties for profit. This is why the consumer is complaining about the amount of spam email's and phone calls they are receiving.

I am working with the Department of Defense - Action Division at this time to see what is to be done and the penalties that will have to be paid out. Which I don't think is going to be a light sum due to all the Federal Offenses violated. That $117 million Yahoo has to pay out, is just jump change compared to what is to come now.

[S_hift]

That's probably chump change compared to all the money they made selling off private data

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[KILROY]

That's probably chump change compared to all the money they made selling off private data

Sent from my SM-J260A using Tapatalk

LOL....thanks S_hift, was tired typing that one out, but meant to say "chump".

[S_hift]

you did.... you said chump change.... o.O wtf man stop confusing me

[OldGuy]

... I just caught Google using their own services to sell email addresses to third party spammers to spam people using GMail. How were they doing this? All those backup email addresses or phone numbers that Google was requesting from someone to add to their accounts. Once that information was added, Google would load a search/scan bot to not only that person's email account, but also the listed backup phone number they relayed...

Just ran across this post. It explains a lot. I've been doing Android Development as a hobby for a few years. I've never released an app but I've heard a few horror stories about the play store's ban for life. Seems if you screw up, knowingly or not, you get a lifetime ban that's so severe they can find you anywhere regardless of the email address you use. If you get a new account with a different address, they find you. But here's the scary part. That extends to anyone you work with or know. If the company you work for gets banned, your banned for life. That goes for every employee, their contacts, friends, relatives etc. They know everything about you and everyone else you know or have ever known. I've got an app I was going to release but I'm so paranoid I'll screw something up and get banned I haven't given it a second though. And, oh, by the way, there is no warning and no appeals process. One day you're fine and the next you're gone.

[OldGuy]

...I am working with the Department of Defense - Action Division at this time to see what is to be done...

Considering the whole thing is probably being run by Democrats, hope your life insurance is paid up.

[KILROY]

No worries, but thanks for the concern. I'll send ya a PM with more details